The Valentine Bandit


Tomorrow will be Valentine’s Day and Spidey just had to break-into her apartment and steal back the TV she was holding.  She used to be Spidey’s  main squeeze, but their romance went down south.  Spidey owed her money.  He couldn’t pay her back.  And she wouldn’t give him back his TV until he paid up. 

Spidey was good at climbing into windows.  He had a rep for walking up buildings, like Spider Man.  Since tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, Spidey planned to steal the TV and leave a Valentine card.  He planned to sign it, “Guess Who”.

He planned to hit at night.  She worked as a night nurse, so she wouldn’t be home.  She’d come home Valentine’s Day to see no TV and the Valentine’s Day card.

He dressed all in black, including black water shoes (good grip for climbing), and a black ski mask.  He waited in the parking lot, for her to leave for work.  In fact, he waited half an hour longer.  The entire apartment building was quiet.  Spidey went around the back and with a running jump, leaped up to the fire escape.  He missed.  He tried again. And again.  He got it. 

Pulling himself up with all the upper body strength he had, until his elbows were on the fire escape landing.  Then leaning his chest against the edge, and bracing his hands on the edge, he hoisted up one knee.  Then the other knee.  Finally, he made it.  It just seemed excruciatingly slow.  But he was quiet.  There was no movement inside that apartment.

But he had to go up two more fire escapes.  There was a ladder that led to each one.  Spidey climbed up tenuously.  And quietly, don’t forget quiet.  Sh-sh-sh----

Ah, here’s the one.  Spidey managed to push up the screen.  He took out his knife and jimmied the lock on the window.  Good.  It went up.  He didn’t have to break the window.  So far…so good.

Once inside, he looked around.  He even felt safe enough to put the light on.  Everything looked just like the last time he was in this kitchen.  He went to the cookie jar and helped himself.  He went to the bathroom.

Then he went into the TV room.  He put on a lamp.  He looked around.  He didn’t see the TV in the entertainment center.  Instead was a large cardboard. 
Spidey went over to take a closer look.  It was a card.  He read: 


No money—No TV
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Guess Who.

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