The Gospel is NOT Fake News

Here's another Father Chris O'Connor joke.  The pope wouldn't go out to greet the press.  His secretary said, "You have to, Holy Father.  The New York Times is there.  Along with CNN, ABC, MSNBC, FOX news, the London Times, etc.  C'mon, Holy Father."

The pope absolutely refused.  "Why won't you meet the press?"

"They make up the news.  They misconstrue everything I say and do.  Remember last week when I was greeting the refugees who had just crossed the Mediterranean.  A child fell off the boat and was being swept away in the waves.  I walked across the water and rescued him. The next day the news reported that I didn't know how to swim!"

Fr. Chris and the New Translation

It's a good thing Father Chris is Father Chris because my "cloistered brothers" and friends blew him away with our "And with your spirit."

The Mass began, "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." We responded "Amen." Father Chris looked at us and said "The Lord be with you." Then the walls reverberated with our "And with your spirit."

That's the way it was. Everytime we responded with the new translation we prayed loudly. We didn't mess up at all.

One good thing about the new translation is that it made us pay attention to the words in the Mass. And that's a beautiful thing.

Father Murphy

Did you hear about Father Murphy?

He's the pastor from hell, that is perceived to be nasty, many perceive to be not very pastoral.You know; is mean to old ladies, pushes the altar servers around, makes fun of the pious, and steals from the poor box.

Well, he was run over by a truck.

When he appeared at the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him if he was the infamous Nazi Pastor.  Naturally, he denied it, and named a few good deeds he had done.  St. Peter has a soft spot for priests, and wanted to give Father Murphy a chance.  So he told Father that he'd check with the Boss.

St. Peter came back and said that God said, "No way.  Father Murphy has to take the elevator down."

"But...but...but", Father Murphy protested.  "Remind the Boss that the morning I died, I put a couple of bucks in the poor box."

St. Peter hopefully carried the message to God.

A few minutes later, St. Peter returned and said, "God said, take your couple of bucks, and go to hell."

h/t  Father Chris O'Connor