Burying the Alleluia

Explanation:  During Lent, which is a serious, somber time, Catholics don't praise God with Alleluia.  Alleluia is too gleefully joyful.  Easter we will burst with shouts of acclamation--Alleluia!

(G-R-O-A-N)

Brother Tonto walked into a bar, every single day, at the same time, and dressed in full choir robes.

It was a habit.

Br. Tonto and Food

Prior: Brother Tonto, I noticed that you didn't pray before dinner.
Br. Tonto: Didn't have to. Brother Jehoshaphat did the cooking.

Franciscans and Dominicans

Brother Tonto, O.P. was doing the yard work around the priory.  Brother Diotrophes, o.s.f., saw Brother Tonto mowing the lawn.  When Brother Tonto finished the lawn, Brother Diotrophes crossed the street and asked Brother Tonto if he could borrow his lawn mower to mow the lawn around the Franciscan friary.

"Of course, Neighbor", said Brother Tonto, and Brother Diotrophes pushed the mower across the street.

Later, Brother Tonto saw that the Franciscan was yanking and pulling on the engine starter rope.  Br. Tonto watched for awhile and went over and asked Br. Diotrophes, "What's wrong?"

Br. Diotrophes cried out, "I can't get this mower started, what's wrong?"

Br. Tonto calmly told the him, "You have to cuss it."

Indignant, the Franciscan friar said, "Now you listen here, I am a Franciscan and if I ever did cuss, and I'm not saying I have, I've put all those words behind me, and I've forgotten what to say."

Brother Tonto smiled as he walked away, saying, "Keep on pulling on that chain and it'll all come back to ya."