Bingo Skit

 Narrator Pete:                                            The Day Bingo was Gone!

When the key in the lock, opened the Franklin Senior Center, who knew what the day

would bring.  The cafe opened with the alluring smell of coffee. The Sunshine Club 

participants started arriving.  The yoga mats soon spread out.  The Senior Van arrived  

and dropped off passengers. All seemed normal, until the Director of the Senior Center

made an announcement over the intercom for everyone to gather in the cafe.

Listen to what the Director said.

Director Steve: I’m afraid I have some alarming news.  This morning all the equipment

for Bingo is gone.  It’s missing.  Someone took it.  

Everyone:  No/what happened/how/who cares/now what….Angry Ad Libs!

Director Steve: Quiet down and listen.  I know this impacts some of you, but we still 

have other activities–cribbage, mah jong, bridge, scrabble, puzzles and

Everyone: What?  What else?  What now? How?

Helen: Someone stole Bingo?  Who?

Everyone: Yeah, Who?

Alice: That’s not right.  I miss Bingo.

Everyone: Yeah.  Get a life.

Bill: How can we play with no cards?  Can we buy more?

Everyone: Yes.  Buy more.  We pay taxes, buy more Bingo cards!

Director Steve:  Order!!  Keep it down.  This isn’t murder.  Someone, we don’t know who, 

or why, or how, but the Bingo board, cage, numbered balls, and cards

are all gone.

Faith: Maybe the school department borrowed it, or some other town department.

Helen: Maybe another town took it.

Director Steve:  If anyone borrowed the Bingo equipment, they would have asked permission

first.  Everything is gone.

Bill: Call the police.

Alice: Yes, file a missing Bingo game report.

Director Steve:  Wait/wait/wait/  Don’t get carried away.  It’s only a game, and an old, kind of 

decrepit one, at that.  I’d feel foolish calling in the police over a silly old game.

Bill: I just called the police.

Director Steve:  (panicked voice)  You did??  Who gave you authority?  What if it’s just missing?

Faith:  Where would anyone put a Bingo Board, cage, and other stuff?  No it’s gone.

Police Chief Pete: Hello!  Good morning.  Quiet down.  Listen up!

Good morning.  For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the police chief.

I understand your Bingo equipment is missing.

Helen: Yes!  There’s been a theft of a vital component in the Senior Center operation.

Alice: Of course!  Bingo is vital.  What are we to do?

Police Chief Pete: Well, I know this is disruptive.  I’ve never played Bingo, myself, but I

do recognize the seriousness of the situation.

Everyone: Yes!  Help us!  Please help.

Police Chief Pete:    I will find it and I promise I will find the guilty person who stole it.  Any 

Questions?

Alice: Stop talking and start looking.

Director Steve:  Look, I know this is a hardship but we will get through it.  Stay strong.

Everyone: Yeah!  Boston strong.  Franklin strong.  Senior Center strong!

Faith: Don’t take too long, or I’m going to a different Senior Center.

Police Chief Pete:  So what is exactly missing?

Everyone: Bingo Board–big board/cage/cards/number balls…

Police Chief Pete:  ALL that?!?

Deputy Director Bob:  What do we do meanwhile?

Director Steve:  I will order new Bingo equipment/ new bingo software/automated balls/ virtual 

Bingo show that is much better than the old Bingo Board.

Everyone: Yay!  

Director Steve:  It will come tomorrow.  See, you won’t be without Bingo for long–one day.

Police Chief Pete:  That was fast.  Too fast.  So fast, it’s suspicious, like it was pre-meditated.

Director Steve, you keep stressing that the stolen Bingo equipment was old?

Outdated?  

Director Steve:  Yes, actually, the thief did us a favor because now we have an excuse to 

purchase new Bingo equipment.

Deputy Director Bob: Yes, it actually was so worn, it was embarrassing.

Police Chief Pete:  Mmmm.  You know, I’m going to get search warrants to search the premises

of the Senior Center, Director Steve, and Deputy Director Bob’s homes.

Director Steve AND Deputy Director Bob:   WHAT!!!  Wait!  What, why?

Police Chief Pete:  I think this theft was an inside job.  It looks like a scheme to get new Bingo

Stuff, especially since the Director and Deputy Director already ordered new 

Bingo Equipment before the old Bingo stuff was even missing.

Director Steve AND Deputy Director Bob: Er. We give up.  

Deputy Director Bob:  We did it for the Senior Center.

Director Steve:  We didn’t think the police would get involved over an old Bingo Game.

Everyone:   Don’t arrest them.  They did it for us.

Police Chief Pete: Still.  A crime has been committed.

Everyone: NO!

Helen: We’ll say it was all a joke.

Bill: I called the police.  I’ll say it was a mistake.  I didn’t know it was a joke.

Faith: We will all stick together.  It was a joke, a mistake.  It will be our word–all of

us, against you, Chief.

Police Chief Pete: Ah.  I see how it is.  I guess there’s nothing I can do.

Director Steve: You got that right.

Everyone: BINGO!

The "Sorry" Podcast

 Here is the final version of my story, "Sorry," written in skit form:

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/838f7a30-d651-4d08-a267-8d33a8be6647

New Skit

 

NARRATOR:        We were six walking today.  We were walking in a single line since the path was narrow.  Bill, as usual, was last because he was always taking pictures.  Alice, as usual, was first. She was born here and had walked these woods mostly every day of her life.  The rest of us had more or less lost our individuality in the confusion of conversations, rattling of water bottles, walking sticks, and branches snapping underfoot.

Suddenly we stopped because we became dimly aware of singing.  Nick, the leader of the group saw them first.  It was a man walking a dog.  They were singing John Denver’s song, “Sunshine On My Shoulders.”

Well!  , Bill, and Al just happen to belong to choral groups and they joined in the singing:

  Sunshine on my shoulders  make me happy.
  Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry.
  Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.

Everyone knew this song, so we all sang until we came abreast of the man and his dog.  We were all laughing as we enjoyed the spontaneous comradery.  We had a good time as we chatted about the perfect weather, gorgeous nature, and walking in the woods.  The man told us to walk around the Cow Cart Bridge to Wampanoag cliffs to see a breathtaking view of Boston and Rhode Island.

Alice was surprised.  She had lived here all her life and had never heard of Wampanoag Cliffs.  She knew Knuck Up Hill had a view of Boston but where was this place where we could see both Boston and Rhode Island?

We had to see this; so off we went.

NICK:      “You’ll be sorry.”

STEVE:  “What did he say?”

BILL:       “It sounded like you’ll be sorry, but he must have meant, you won’t be sorry.”

PETE:     Sorry.

EVERYONE:         Chuckled.

AL:          “Where was this Wampaoagh Cliffs?”  How come we never heard of it? 

PETE:     Sorry.

BILL:       What?

ALICE:   Let’s go.  Did he say to go through Burnt Swamp?

ZANOBIA:            Well, he mentioned Cow Cart Bridge.

AL:          Isn’t that the wooden walkway?

PETE:     Sorry

STEVE:  Yes.  Alice how come we never walk that way?

ALICE:   It’s too wet.  But we haven’t had rain in awhile so it can’t be too muddy.

STEVE:  There it is.

BILL:       Look at all these Lady Slippers

NARRATOR:        Bill stops to take pictures

PETE:     Sorry

ZANOBIA:            Who keeps saying Sorry?

NICK:     I thought I heard that.  Is that what it is saying?

NICK:     Is it you?

STEVE:  No?

BILL:       The path is going up.

ALICE:   I’ve been this far.  There used to be a building for the ski tow cables—Oh it’s still here.  See up ahead.

PETE:     Sorry.

AL:          There it is, again.

NARRATOR:        Everyone was quiet and listening.

ZANOBIA:            What are we listening for?

NICK:     Someone keeps calling Sorry.

ZANOBIA:            Are you sure?

ALICE:   It’s creepy.

STEVE:  Oh Look at the view!

BILL:       Spectacular!

AL:          You can see Boston,  I wish it were earlier in the day, so. we could see it in bright  sunlight. 

NICK:     It’s only 6 o’clock.  Look at that storm cloud on the left.

NARRATOR:           Everyone was silent as they looked at the storm cloud approaching.   

PETE;     Sorry.

AL:          I heard it.  That’s what you’re talking about.

BILL:       YES!

ZANOBIA:            You know that storm cloud looks like a funnel.  It’s moving fast.  Is it a tornado?

ALICE:   Quick, let’s run to the shack.

NARRATOR:        Everyone ran, as big rain drops pelted down on them.  The door to the shack luckily wasn’t locked.                  They all rushed in.

STEVE:  Whew!  We made it.

AL:          Just in time.

ZANOBIA:            Boy are we lucky!

NICK:     Where did that storm come from?

NARRATOR:        Just then, the room lit up, followed a second later by thunder.

STEVE:  Yikes, that storm is directly over us.

AL:          Well, we’ll just have to wait it out.  Can we fit sitting down?

ALICE:                   Is there room?

ZANOBIA:            Wait a minute.   Bill is missing? 

NICK:     Oh no!

NARRATOR:        Thunder rocked the shack.  They opened the door a crack and looked out, but the wind was fierce and the rain blew in their faces.  But they called Bill.

STEVE:  What should we do?

ALICE:   Text him.

STEVE:  OK.

NICK:     Is there internet here?

STEVE:  I don’t know, but he’s not answering anyway.

AL:          Do you think he ran back down?

ZANOBIA:            Who knows?

NICK:     We’ll have to wait until the storm subsides a bit.

NARRATOR:        That little bit of time turned into an hour before they cracked the door open.

PETE:     Sorry.

ZANOBIA:            Not again.  Who keeps saying “Sorry.”

STEVE:  Look at that bird.  It’s a mockingbird. 

NICK:     Well that explains the “Sorry.”  The mockingbird is saying “Sorry.”

Alice:    Hey!  Let everyone call Bill

EVERYONE: Billy!!!

PETE:     BILLY!!!!

NICK:     I think I heard an echo.

AL:          How eerie.

STEVE:  Scary.

PETE:     Sorry.

NARRATOR:        Everyone laughed nervously.

NICK:     Loud sigh.

ALICE:   Well let’s start back down, hopefully Bill is waiting for us.

NARRATOR:        The storm turned the weather humid as the group trudge slowly in the darkening light through wet grass, mud, and slippery roots and rocks.

ZANOBIA:            How come the way home is always longer than going up?

NICK:     Maybe, because it’s taking us longer because the walking is treacherous.

STEVE:  It’s getting awfully dark.

ALICE:   I still hear thunder in the distance.

PETE:     Sorry.

AL:          How much longer do you think?

ZANOBIA:            20-30 minutes

EVERYONE:         groans.

AL:          I hope Bill is waiting for us, at the bottom.

ALICE:   Look.  Look!  A flashlight is coming up the hill.

NARRATOR:        Their hearts were beating  with joy as they rushed down.  The light came closer and closer.

NARRATOR:        But it wasn’t Bill.

PETE:     Hello!  Did you people get caught in the micro-burst?

ZANOBIA:            Is that what it was?

ALICE:   Yes, and we lost one of our group?  Did you see him?

PETE:     No, I didn’t see anyone.

AL:          Why are you going this way?  Shouldn’t we be going across the Burnt Swamp walkway?

PETE:     That’s flooded out.

AL:          Oh

STEVE: It is?

NARRATOR:        It wasn’t long before the group came to Trout Pond and the road leading to the parking lot.

ALICE:                   Look!  There’s Bill waiting for us.

EVERYONE:         Yay!  Alleluia!

EVERYONE:         What happened?

BILL:       I ran back before the storm and when i realized that no one was following me, I had no choice but to keep running back.  The downpour and wind whipped me along, all the way.

NARRATOR: What a relief!   But when the group went to introduce the man who helped them come down, he was gone!

PETE:     Sorry.

Lectio Divina Skit

Lectio Divina Skit

Characters:  Brother Guigo, Brother Antonias, Lectio, Meditatio, Oratio, Contemplatio

Setting:  Monastery

Brother Guigo: Congratulations Brother Antonias on advancing from Postulant to Novice.

Brother Antonias: Thank you.  What’s next in my formation?

Brother Guigo: Getting to know God personally.

Brother Antonias:  What?  What do you mean?  Don’t I know Him already? 

Brother Guigo: You know God intellectually but you need to know Him with your heart?

Brother Antonias:  How do I do that?

Brother Guigo:  You need to learn to listen to Him.  You need to recognize His voice.  You need to converse with Him.

Brother Antonias: Wow! How do I do that?

Brother Guigo: Through a method of prayer called Lectio Divina.

Brother Antonias:  Don’t I pray enough?  I pray the Divine Office, five times a day.  I pray the rosary. I pray novenas and litanies.

Brother Guigo: Very good, little brother.  You talk to God but do you listen to Him? 

Brother Antonias: huh?

Brother Guigo: Lectio Divina is an encounter.  You will learn to be a friend of God.  You will listen to His voice and converse with Him.

Brother Antonias: I’d like to learn this.  How do I begin?

Brother Guigo: I have four friends that will teach what you need to know.  Ah, here comes the first one.  Let me introduce you to Lectio.  Lectio is Latin for “I read.”  The word lectern (points to the lectern) comes from Lectio.  The place where someone stands to read.

Brother Antonias: I thought that was an ambo. 

Brother Guigo: Very good, Brother.  An ambo is a lectern.  Ambo is Greek.  Lectio is Latin.

Brother Antonias:  What about a pulpit?

Brother Guigo:  You’re pulling us off subject.  A pulpit is like an ambo and lectern, but I want to talk about Lectio.  So Lectio, tell us what you do.

Lectio: One reads something spiritual to promote conversation with God. It is called Divine Reading or Lectio Divina.  It’s a deep reading in a calm and tranquil state of mind.  One biblical basis is Psalm 46:10, Be still and know that I am God.  Read the passage several times and pay attention to the tone, the nouns, and the descriptions. What is the theme—the point?  You could try thinking of yourself as a disciple of Jesus, hearing this for the first time.  If you don’t understand, you could google the verses.  There are also books called commentaries.  A good Biblical Commentary explains the Bible verse by verse.  The footnotes to the passage are helpful too.

Brother Antonias:  This sounds time consuming.

Lectio:  Well, yes it is.  It depends on how much you’re reading.  Just reading a few verses could be five minutes, maybe.  But more verses, or a paragraph, would take longer.  Many people do this in Adoration.

Brother Antonias: It doesn’t seem hard to do.  Is it considered praying?

Lectio:  Oh yes.  You are listening to God, Himself. You are reading His words to you.  He is speaking to you.  Those words you are reading is God conversing with you.

Brother Antonias:  WOW!

Lectio:  Are you open to the Holy Spirit leading you to understanding?

Brother Antonias:  Oh yes! I want to hear more.

Lectio:  Then let me introduce you to Meditatio.

Meditatio: Brother Antonias, when you read do you think about what you read?

Brother Antonias:  Of course.

Meditatio: Good because that’s the next step.  Thinking deeply.  Lectio involves reading but it is more like listening to the inner message of the words delivered through the Holy Spirit.  Meditatio isn’t the reading part, but rather communion with God. You are going to ponder the meaning and listen.  A few lucky people hear an actual voice.  But for most of us, God speaks through our thoughts.

Brother Antonias: God speaks to us in our thoughts.  So if the house is on fire and my mind screams, “Get out.”  That’s God.

Meditatio: Yes and so is the fireman who comes in and tells you to “Get out.” But back to your spiritual reading, you read the passage and look at from various angles. Look at the verbs: are they violent, negative?  What about the nouns?  Now stay open and allow the Holy Spirit to inspire a meaning for you.  Sit and listen.

Brother Antonias:  How do I know if what I hear is from God?  What if it’s Satan?

Meditatio:  If it’s from God it will be good and give you peace.  You will complete this time with God feeling happy and peaceful.  And that’s not all.  You’ll want to tell God how you feel and what you think.  This encounter will lead you to conversation or prayer and this part is called Oratio.

Brother Antonias:  Am I the orator or God? 

Oratio:  Both of you, little brother.  I am Oratio and I will explain the next step in Lectio Divina.  This is where you express what you are feeling, and thinking.  All the while remaining attentive to the Holy Spirit’s gentle promptings guiding the direction of the conversation.

Brother Antonias:  What if I have nothing to say?

Oratio:  Tell God.  And I’m sure you’ll be prompted to reread the spiritual reading again and you’ll see something to talk about.

Brother Antonias:  So Lectio Divina is reading, meditating, and conversing with God.  Read, think, and pray.  I got it.

Oratio: That’s not all.  There’s a finishing step.  And this is where Contemplatio comes in.

Brother Antonias:  Like Contemplation?  Wasn’t that Meditatio or meditation?

Meditatio:  Close but I like to think that Meditatio is more work.  I’m active, whereas Contemplatio is inactive.  Would you agree Contemplatio?

Contemplatio:  I like to think of Contemplatio as resting rather than inactive.  And I have an even better image to distinguish between us.  Think of feeding an infant its milk.  The feeding is meditatio and when the baby is finished, it is lifted on the shoulder and patted and rubbed where the baby rests contentedly in love.  Contemplatio is the infant on the shoulder.

Brother Antonias:  I like that image.  Let me apply it to Lectio Divina. I read, I meditate, I pray, and I rest in love.

Contemplatio: Yes, it’s so nice to rest in the Holy Spirit.  You might thank God, here.

Brother Antonias:  I can see where you might be led to praise Him, too.

Contemplatio/Oratio/Meditatio/Oratio:    Amen.

Brother Guigo: Well, Brother Antonias, what do you think of Lectio Divina as prayer, now?

Brother Antonias:  I can’t wait to add Lectio Divina to my daily routine.  I can pray the Rosary, my Breviary,  Litanies, Novenas and now Lectio Divina.

Brother Guigo:  You’ll have to set aside time to do this.  It’s not like going for a walk praying the rosary, or reciting a litany in chorus.  Lectio Divina needs silence and time.

Brother Antonias:  I know.  Lectio Divina makes sense as a natural movement: read, meditate, converse, and complete with resting in Love.

Brother Guigo: Yes, it’s a natural development.  With practice using the guidelines of Lectio Divina you will find yourself doing more and more listening and resting in the Holy Spirit.  This method will be spiritually fruitful for you if you open yourself to receive what God wants to give you.  May God lead you, love you, and bless you.

Contemplatio/Oratio/Meditatio/Oratio:    Amen.

A Skit for MA TOPS 9463

The Image in the TV

The scene is the living room of Lazy Lucinda’s apartment. It is the evening after supper. She is watching a big screen TV with a remote in her hand.  It’s a little hot in the room but Lazy Lucinda is too comfortable to get up and turn on the air conditioner.  Lazy Lucinda is w-a-y too comfortable.

Suddenly the image on the TV steps out of the screen into the living room with Lazy Lucinda.

LL:  What!  Lazy Lucinda sits up.  What?  Who are you?  What’s happening?

Death:  Is that popcorn I smell or rather butter on popcorn that I smell?

LL: What’s going on?  Who are you?

Death: Death.

LL: Who?

Death:  Death.  Listen—can I sit down?  The smell of that buttered popcorn is sickening.  You have way too much butter on it.

LL:  Who are you?

Death:  Death.  May I have a glass of water?

LL:  Death? What do you mean, Death?

Death: What is wrong with you?  Do you see my black costume and white face and hands?

LL:  Yeah.

Death:  Is it Halloween?

LL:  No.

Death:  Then I’m who I said—Death.  Now may I have a glass of water—what are you drinking?

LL:  Is this a joke?

Death:  What kind of joke?  You’re fifty-seven?  Lazy Lucinda?  13 Main Street?  Unless I messed up—where’s my list?  (fumbles through pockets, finally producing a paper with names and addresses) Yeah, it all checks out.

LL:  What checks out?  What do you want with me?

Death:  What do I want?  Isn’t it obvious?  What do you think I want?

LL:  You must be kidding.  I’m in my prime.

Death: (unimpressed): Uh-huh.  (Looking around) This is a nice place.  Is it a condo?  Do you own it?

LL:  It’s a condo and I rent.  Some of the stuff came with the place.

Death:  (picking up a picture with a couple of cute kids):  I love kids with big eyes.  Yours?

LL:  My grandchildren.  Look, I’m not ready to go.

Death:  That’s what they all say.

LL:  But I’m relatively healthy.

Death:  Oh ple-e-a-s-s-e.  You’re obese, have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetic and you’re going to have a stroke in a few minutes.

LL:  I can’t go.  I have responsibilities.

Death: You’re retired.

LL:  My grandchildren depend on me.

Death:  What—to drive them to school?  They need to walk and get some exercise. 

LL: I’m the weight recorder in TOPS.  I need to be there to weigh people in.

Death:  You’re the weight recorder?  Don’t make me laugh.   You’re so overweight your recliner is sagging.  You’re hot but too lazy to get up and turn on the AC.  And I’m still thirsty and you’re too lazy to get me a glass of water.

LL:  Why would Death need to drink water?

Death:  Don’t change the subject.  You’re killing yourself with your unhealthy lifestyle.

LL:  You don’t have to be cruel.

Death:  Sorry, but how else can I say it?

LL:  I could change.

Death:  Too late.

LL:  Listen, sit down.  Let me get you a glass of water.  Do you want anything else?  Want some liquor in your water?  Some cake? Cookies?  There are some chocolates on the coffee table.

Death:  See what I mean?  Don’t you have anything healthy in your kitchen?

LL:  Does water count?

Death:  No.  I mean yes.  Anything else?

LL:  Well, there’s strawberries on top of the strawberry shortcake.  And strawberries inside the chocolates. 

Death:  Ugh.  Just the water, please.

LL:  Here.  (gives Death a tall glass of water)  If you give me an hour more I could go buy some fruit.

Death:  Why?

LL:  Then I could live a little longer.

Death:  Yeah, maybe a day.

LL:  If I walked to the store, could I have a week?

Death:  You can’t just walk once.

LL:  No-no.  Of course not.  I’ll walk all the time.  I’ll change my lifestyle.

Death:  Oh!  In that case, if you changed your lifestyle there’s no telling how much longer you could live.  You could live to be old!

LL:  Just by changing my lifestyle?

Death:  Didn’t you say you belonged to TOPS? I thought you people were intelligent!

LL:  So you’re giving me more time?

Death:  It’s not me.  I’m not.  You are.  You are changing your lifestyle by adding exercise and eating sensibly. 

LL:  Great!  Thank you.

Death:  Don’t thank me.  Thank yourself.  I’ll be seeing you.

LL:  Not too soon I hope.  Bye. Bye.

Death:  Steps back into the TV screen

LL: ( Wakes up from the recliner with a start and looks around)  Wha?  Whew.  What a dream!  It seemed so real. (pushes the popcorn away) Ugh there’s too much butter on that.  I think I’ll go for a walk.  I really should exercise more.  I’ll walk my grandchildren to school, but right now, I’ll walk to the store and buy some fruit and vegetables.  Then when I come home, I think I’ll start a food journal and plan some healthy meals for myself.  I want to be around to see my grandchildren grow up.

And wait till I tell my friends in TOPS what happened to me. Wouldn’t it be something if Death appeared to all the TOPS in the group?