Fatherhood

An old friend came to visit us in Chapter, today.  Seeing that today is Father's Day, Brother Augustine's Talk was on Fatherhood.

I nearly fell off the chair when he asked for association words for "Father."  For any other group, this question would have been O.K.  But for my "cloistered brothers?"  Eh?

I fully expected:
Father = drunkeness
Father = physical abuse
Father = deserter
Father = wife beater
Father = absent
Father = Bastardo!

In fact, upon leaving, I advised brother to never begin with a question, you don't know the answer to.  But he told me, he was prepared for answers like the ones I expected.  He knew what he was doing.

But my fears didn't happen.  My "cloistered brothers" knew where he was going, and gave answers that were helpful to Brother.  Their answers were something along the lines of "guide, loving, teacher, provider, protector, etc."   Qualities in fathers that were the ideal.  That we all wished we had.  (Don't you just love my brothers?")

One of the points of Brother's Talk was that the quality that is present in any Father and child, is "relationship."     And even if the father, or even the child, dies, that bond remains, even though it is not physically present.  Does a priest feel that bond to all the people that he is responsible for?  Don't all men feel that bond?

Many discussions arose during the talk and this was one.  Does the bond die with death?  Does one become more of a father when more children are born?  Do children become "one with their father," when they look exactly like dad, act like dad, talk like dad, take over for him?

Eventually, Brother steered the discussion to the relationship between God the Father and God the Son.  Jesus says, "Whoever sees me, sees the Father."  "The Father and I are One."  This relationship didn't die with Jesus' death.

And we are the adopted children of God.  Wowza!

How's your relationship with your Father?

How do you tell if a Question is Worthwhile?

Last night, in Study Group, my "cloistered" brothers pounced on a question I posed. It doesn't matter what the question was. That's not my point. My point is what they said to me because I asked a question.

I was accused of being a pharisee.

Yes, because I question.

You can tell that this bothered me because here I am blogging about it. After a good night's sleep, and reflection, I've come to the conclusion that questioning is not wrong, and I'm sure they'll agree. It's the type of question.

But that's so subjective!

How to tell if a question is worthwhile is the question! :-D

Some teachers say that all questions are good questions. All students know that's B.S. because we've all been bored by stupid questions by the some "stupid" students. Some people just like the attention and so ask questions. Some want to side-track the instructor so he won't have time to cover the material and so postpone the assignment or test. Some students truly ask dumb questions.

Do my "cloistered" brothers think my questions are dumb?

Mmmm, possibly?

Nah! Perish the thought.

Though, come to think of it, in this particular group, quite a few think some things are NOT to be questioned, i.e., Eucharist, Trinity, BVM, etc.

Ah......that's the rub. It was a question on the Eucharist. Actually it wasn't. I was looking for suitable responses to a question on the Eucharist. But they took my question as questioning the dogma. I wasn't questioning the Eucharist, but a question on the Eucharist. Get it?

They didn't.

Teachers encourage questions. Even teachers who want students to hold their questions to the end. (And I use to do that.) It's a method of gauging how the material is going over. So of course it's good to question.

What separates dumb questions from good questions is the value of the question. Brother Augustine Marie Reisenauer, O.P. (above picture) encourages questions. He uses questions to engage everyone in the learning process. A good question is one that is of value to the group as a whole.

That was the problem last night. My question was not of value to that particular group.

That particular group is challenging, in many ways.