Failure Isn't the End

 There's no such thing as failure.  You just find out what works and what doesn't.  Move on.  In the Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah, Dr. Julia Cates is publicly demonized because one of her patients shot up a school.  Meanwhile, her sister, Ellie, has need of her.  A "wolf child" has emerged from the woods.  A little girl seems to have been brought up by wolves.  She doesn't speak.  She's feral.

Julia emersed herself in helping this child.  The love interest is another doctor, Max.  He has his own history.  The two doctors help the little girl.  Actually, the entire town helps her.  It's a small town and they conspire against the media--they agree what to say and do.

Unfortunately, the girl's father turns up.  It's a nightmare.  Who will get custody?  

The story is fascinating and interesting.  I enjoyed the love story and the family dynamics.  Parenthood is examined, as well as the relationship between sisters.  Of course, the good overshadows the bad, as all Kristen Hannah's books prove.

Egocentricity

 The time is 1950s, I am in the sixth grade.  I walked to school, and going home I walked in a patrol line. The sixth graders were leaders of the patrol lines.  One sixth grader walked in front, another in back, and if there were more sixth graders, they would walk beside the line of children.  Patrol leaders wore white belts across their chests with a shiny white badge pinned to it.  

Early in the sixth grade, the principal, Mrs. Woodbury, came into the class to talk to us about patrol lines, i.e., how we were now leaders in the school, role models, loyal, and respected. Then she said that one of us were to be chosen "captain" of the patrol leaders.

Who would that be?  Could it be me? I wondered.

The principal continued; this child was a good student.  That's me.  This child was well behaved.  That's me.  Friendly--that's me.  Kind--that's me.  Got along well with adults as well as children.  That's me.  Supportive and loyal to Oakland Avenue School.  That's me.  A good example--that's me, me, ME!  

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

The child's name was Ellen Jane Smotlack.  Ellen Jane Smotlack?  Not me?  I was shocked, not me.  I'm still in shock.  Not that Ellen Jane Smotlack was not a good choice, but n-o-t ME?  How could this be?  Not me.  Unbelievable.

                           Nowadays, the belts are phlorescent green instead of white.

Fear Not

 When Jesus fell the third time, He got up, albeit arduously.  He continued on, resolutely.  Is this not an example for us, when we fail?  Jesus kept falling for our benefit.  Life is never smooth sailing.  When everything is going our way, we hardly ever think of God.  It's when we're sick, in trouble, hurting, and falling that we call on God.  "Fear not."  Psalm 91: 1-2 You will not be overwhelmed. You will prevail.  Walk with faith through the challenges of the hour.  Yes, you may fall.  Many times! What is important is that you arise and go on.  This too shall pass.    

God can do nothing for us when we are strong. It is only when we fall down and are hurting that Jesus can give us the grace we need.  So don't give up when you're down and out.  Pray.

Paul tells us...My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.  I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ;for when I am weaak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

My First Failure

The meditation for the First Friday of Lent was on Jesus' fall for the first time.  You probably never thought of this before, but Jesus was probably used to failing.  Think of His disciples never under-

standing what He was talking about.  Think of the Pharisees criticizing everything He said and did.

 

His arrest, trial, and crucifixion were not a surprise to Him.  Yes, He was God but His life experiences had hardened Him to withstand His end. 

Like us.  Our disappointments and failures prepare us for our future experiences.

My first failure happened in sixth grade.  I'm 11 years old.  In Oakland Avenue Elementary School in Methuen, MA, we had safety lines that we walked home in.  The oldest kids were "patrol leaders."  Depending on how many older kids there were, they surrounded all the other kids who walked two by two.  My line had two patrol leaders.  When I was old enough, I was in front, because I lived on a street near the end of Oakland Avenue.  There was one other patrol leader who hovered either on the outside middle or dropped back to be last in line, to keep the line orderly.  She also stood in the middle of the street with her arm raised to stop traffic while the line crossed the street.

Exactly like this picture, except our patrol belts were white and we had a badge on it.  Anyway, in the last grade of elementary school, I was eleven years old.  All the patrol leaders were called to a meeting where the teacher announced that a "captain" was chosen by the teachers and they were going to announce who it was.  The announcement was prefaced with the attributes that were considered in the choice of choosing the captain.  This person was a good student, dependable, honest, etc.

I immediately gasped, thinking that they were talking about me.  After all, I had all these qualities.  I also had mixed feelings about it.  I was shy and didn't want to be the center of attention. But I also was very proud and really deep down wanted to hear these accolades about myself.

Then the ball dropped.  The name Ellen Jane Smutlak was chosen.  I was shocked!  It wasn't me?  How could that be?  The fact that I wasn't chosen, impressed upon me how other people saw me.  I wasn't the center of their universe like I was at home.  I wasn't considered the best.

WOW.

Here I am, 74 years old and still remember the sting of that impression.

It left such a mark that some other impressions are remembered:

1.  Randy Medauer said in soto voce, "her mother makes her clothes!"  I recall wondering how could that be?  Stores make people's clothes, don't they?  BUT!  even at that young age of 11, I knew Randy was saying that because she was jealous.

2.  Ellen Jane Smutlak was a "goody two-shoes."  Ellen Jane and I didn't live near each other.  So we didn't play together.  She did live near my grandmother and we did play together, now and then.  I remember asking her if I could ride her bike and she said no.  I found that odd; I'd let her ride my bike if it were at my grandmother's, why wouldn't she let me ride hers?  I remember badgering her about it but she stuck to her guns, "NO!"  Finally, she said, "My father said not to let anyone ride my bike."  

      I couldn't believe it.  Why would a parent say that?  In my neighborhood, we'd rode each others' bikes.  We played a racing game of it. I don't think that as a parent, myself, I ever told my kids not to let others ride their bikes.  I never thought of it.  

3.  When my name wasn't chosen, deep inside I was glad.  I didn't want to be the center of attention and that's true today.  I hate everyone looking at me.  Surprise?  I teach.  I'm a lector.  I have acted.  I know I am the center of attention in those roles but the focus is not on me, myself.  I have a job to do--get that message across, not myself.  You understand?

4.  Upon reflection, God once again had treated me with velvet gloves.  He is so very gentle with me.  My first failure was not a naked exposure in front of my peers.  It was an interior recognition that because I was inadequate I wasn't chosen "patrol leader captain."  I didn't have the personality nor temperament.

Thanks be to God.

The Defeat of Failure

Thank God I am not an atheist.  When they meet failure, they must be crestfallen for a long time.  A Christian has hope.  He sees that God's plan ends well.  God will make the bad good. 

For Lent, I'm reading Fulton's Sheen's Lift Up Your Heart. It reminds me of The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. It's full of maxims and sermons.  This chapter, "The emergence of Character" begins explaining why the Christian trust God.  The Lord is in control and wins in the end.

The Christian religion was born in failure.  Adam and Eve failed the disobedience test. People continually disappoint God.  Jesus' crucifixion looked like a failure to the Romans and His enemies.  But Christianity defeated failure on Good Friday. 

To those whom God loves, good will triumph.

Failure

Failure is not the worst thing in the world.  Worse is fearing to try.  This platitude was in the forefront of my mind today, as I visited Boston's Museum of Science.  Looking at all the inventions and experiments, brought to mind all the failures that went into making one success.  It's something to think about.

This is a picture of me getting out of a space craft.

Failure

Failure is a matter of perspective. The best attitude to have about it is that it's part of the equation for success. Babe Ruth is called the King of Swat because of all the home runs he hit. But he was also called the Strike Out King because he had to swing a lot to hit all those home runs. So, people who take a lot of chances are bound to have a lot of failures, and not everyone will succeed.

So what? Look at failure as part of the learning process. People who have never failed have never pushed themselves. One could consider people who have never failed, cowards.

The worst part of failure is not the fact that you didn't cut it. It's what others think. It's telling your family that you're fired. It's never passing the law exam after all those years in school--not to mention money. Not being able to sell your book after devoting two years of your life to writing it. One could tell themselves that it just wasn't in the cards. It wasn't meant to be. But it's the look on your parents', your spouse, your friends, faces that hurts. It's not the failure itself; it's the opinion of others.

Regardless, one has to go on. Swing that bat, again. Thomas Edison experimented with 10,000 materials before he found the exact filament for his light bulb. Look at the video of Michael Jackson. He enumerates his failures and he concludes, "That's why I succeed." Take a chance.

Did you know that there's a Failure Club. It's a show on yahoo. The idea came from two girls. In Dec 2003, she told about how she had performed on stage in a holiday choir, something she had wanted to do her whole life, as the result of a dare with her sister on who could ‘fail’ first. A couple of producers were captivated by the idea of a support structure that used positive peer pressure and friendly competition to overcome the fear of failure, and they quickly gathered 9 friends for the inaugural Failure Club in 2004. It has been going on ever since.

About ten people pick an impossible goal and work at it for a year. Most fail. What of it? They failed because they had the courage to push themselves beyond their comfort zones. They tried and that was the start of an adventure. That's the way to look at failure.