Harmony

For Lectio Divina I'm still reading Mother Miriam Pollard's, o.c.s.o., book, The Listening God.  This morning, Mother writes about appreciation.  I couldn't help think of her thoughts as being comparable to mine, and also, so opposite of Saint Louis de Montfort's.

Mother writes, in speaking of those like de Montfort who walk the Purgative Way:

 "...We are not made for suffering but for joy.  Joy is our native land.  Under present circumstances, we will get our share of pain, but we are not asked to stroke and cuddle it like a pet cat.  We are invited to hold it as lightly as we can and to find in it, at least eventually, a joy whose character differs from the joy we would have had without the pain...
...It is not only good therapy but good religion to notice the bits of beauty, humor, gracefulness, and social comfort which litter even the barest roads of responsibility.  We don't have to lunge at every pleasure in sight; we don't even have to leave the road.  God meets us there in small beauties and inconsequential delights.  He coaxes our laughter at the incongruity of our self determination.
   The point is harmony.

Ah, here's the money quote.  The point is harmony.  I say keep your eyes on joy itself, which is God.  Of course, bad things will happen.  We're not living in the Garden of Eden.  There is joy in acceptance of the "bad."  God turns the bad into good.

I just love Mother Miriam.  I see her across the altar, every time I go to Mount St. Mary Abbey, for Mass.  I would love to have her as a spiritual director.  Once, I even asked Father Aquinas to ask her if she would accept me as a spiritual directee.  However, she is cloistered, so I knew she wouldn't be able to.  But that's how I got Father Aquinas as a spiritual director.

Case in point!

The Most Cordial Intimacy Possible

                                                         Vie du pere Lataste

I'm reading pere Laste's Sermon 90 at Cadillac Prison, Septembre 15, 1864.  His words are so poignantly touching.  I so wish I could have known him, personally.

In talking about the Sacrament of Reconciliation to the women prisoners at Cadillac Prison, he tells them that if they wish, he will be their soul mate.  He urges them to call him "father," and he will call them, "my children."  How more loving can you get?  He continues, "If you desire, there will exist between us the most candid, the most sincere, and the most cordial intimacy possible."

Be still my heart!  Does God make spiritual directors and confessors like this, any more?

Pilgrimage--Day Ten

Kappel St. Niklausen

Four of us decided to hike up to Kappel St. Niklausen.  We were planning to spend the morning and discussed whether or not to picnic.  Since there was always plenty of food, at meal time, I said that I'd buy the picnic and we'd share.  But when I went to pay, I didn't have to; it seems the picnic was in lieu of a lunch.  There was plenty of food for all of us, even though it was a picnic for one.

Wayside Shrine

The day was beautiful and we chose a trail that went the long way around.  Either we didn't go far enough, or we chose the wrong way, but after an hour or so, we gave up, and turned back.  That was fine; the scenery was breath taking.  The company was good.  The weather was cool--perfect for hiking.  We were enjoying our blessings.

      During our stay at St. Niklausen, the Chapel of St. Niklausen's bells always brought us to prayer.  I don't know if they rang every hour, but they did ring the Angelus.

      The Chapel was surprisingly beautiful.  I was surprised because from the outside it looked stark and utilitarian, not ornate in the least.  The ceiling was made up of saints.  There's a beautiful pulpit, one of those architectural marvels in a winding staircase, and of course, a reminder that we are mere mortals.

                                                                                                                                                      

  After a little while, half our group left to go back to a hot lunch.  Sister Pauline and I stayed.  We took pictures and prayed a Dominican Rosary.  When we were hungry we noticed something that should have been evident before.  Our picnic was in Avis' backpack.  And she left before us!

  

     So we headed back.  On the way back, Sister Pauline said that she'd eat the picnic lunch with me, so that I wouldn't be alone.  I was grateful.

But when we got back, she forgot and went inside to eat lunch.  

I looked for Avis, thinking that she owed me; she took my picnic, so she should stay with me, so that I wouldn't be alone.  

I did find her.  She gave me the picnic.  She left me and went inside to eat.

I was miffed, to say the least.

I was angry and hurt.  There I was, left standing on the outside, looking in on everyone laughing and having a good time. Didn't anyone think of me?  

What could I do?  I decided to make the best of it; I really had no choice.  I offered up my hurt feeling as penitential sacrifice and asked God to forgive my anger and resentment.  But still....

I followed a path away from the hotel and sat down on the furthermost bench.  So there I was, alone with God.  

Hmpf!

I can't tell you what happened next.  His grace somehow turned my attitude around.  I don't know how.  All I can tell you is that I sat on that bench, "pissed!"  I got up off that bench with an outlook that was positive, cheerful, optimistic, grateful, and very thankful.  How? Why? 

Before that moment, I was on vacation; after that moment I was on retreat.  God finally got me alone.

The sun was so gentle on my face.  The wind caressed me.  I think I napped.  When the bells from Kappell St. Niklausen tolled, I went inside for some "one on one" with God, in Adoration.

Later that night, when I couldn't sleep, I went outside on my balcony.  I could see the room next door had its lights on--Avis' room.  

I reached over my balcony(risking my life) and tap, tap, tapped on her window.  She got up.  After she asked me if I were crazy, I asked her if she felt like talking. 

We spent a couple of hours giving each other spiritual direction.                ;-)

Asides

Today I was giving a presentation on snacking.  A discussion arose about those that felt eating three large meals was better than six small meals.  Something I said as an aside, triggered an outcry.  What it was, isn't important.  It was something about snacks triggering a desire for more.  But it was the fact that an "aside" elicited more discussion, than the discussion topic itself, that impressed me.

When reviewing my presentation, I always try to evaluate what worked, and what didn't.  I was surprised that an "aside" turned out to be the more interesting.  It has happened before.  But it is always a surprise.  It reminded me of when Fr. Aquinas was talking about spiritual direction.  He was talking about soaring off the earth (aircraft carrier) and climbing above the mundane and reaching union with God...

He happened to say in an "aside" voice, "You're not a crop duster."

...sigh...

It bothered me that he used that image.  Did he think I was a "crop duster?"  Did Father AQ think that I thought, or sounded like, of behaved, like a "crop duster?"

That my spirituality wasn't a beautiful, sleek, jet.

Years have passed and I still wonder mediate on that "aside."

What's wrong with being a crop duster?

I am a Lay Dominican, and not a monk like AQ.  I should be out dusting the crops.  I'd like to soar like a jet, off the aircraft carrier and into the heavens.  I'm working on that.  But right now, the crops need tending.

Do you think when I go on retreat, I'll have the opportunity to soar like a jet?

You'll be the first to know.    Oremus.

Spiritual Direction Catholic Style

Blessing

There was an article in today's Boston Globe about spiritual direction becoming more common.  It seems that since the culture today is not church-going, that need that all humans have for God, is not fulfilled.  That need for love.  That need to be loved.  That need to make sense of life.  That draw towards something.  That something that is ingrained in our genes.  That ineffable feeling that searches for meaning, love, wisdom, God.  St. Catherine of Siena, in her Dialogue would remind us:
"The human heart is always drawn by love." Dialogue 26

People today don't think the answer is in church, I guess.  Why would 20 centuries of traditional answers be smarter than they are?

Another reason, I am glad I'm Catholic.  All you have to do is make an appointment with a priest, to get spiritual direction.  And priest do it for free.  We Catholics get some spiritual direction in Confession.  In confession it would be narrow focused, but all you would have to do is ask the Confessor for an appointment for more time,  to discuss your concerns.  It's that easy.  Call the rectory.  Make an appointment.

Tabernacle Thomas Aquinas Priory

As a Catholic I am surrounded by spiritual fulfillment.  That's what our sacraments are for.  The Eucharist feeds us spiritually.  The outward appearance of the sacraments: water, wine, bread, salt, oil, blessings, hit me in the eyes.  The prayers, chants, songs, liturgical music, hit my ears.  The readings, scripture, early church fathers, papal writings, hit my mind with beautiful language.  The smell of incense, oil, candles, hit my nose.  The taste of the Eucharist: bread and wine, hits my soul through my mouth.  The feel of my brothers and sisters' kiss of peace hits my heart, with this early sign of Christianity.  I even love the debates and arguments of our theologians.  The governance of my pastor, bishops, and popes.  I love the struggles of our saints and martyrs.  I love the poetry of our poets.  I love the architecture of the different expressions   of worship in our church buildings. I love everything about the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church embodies the presence of Christ.  Yes, God is everywhere.  But He's tangible in the Catholic Church.  His true presence lives there.  

Nostalgia

I was part of a panel discussion at Our Lady of Divine Providence & St. Thomas Aquinas Chapter, today.  The discussion was on prison ministry.  I think my Talk went well.  I focused on  Pere Marie Jean-Joseph Lataste, OP.  Everyone seemed interested and asked the appropriate questions.

But I missed my Chapter, and my "cloistered brothers."

Afterwards, I stayed to pray Vespers with the friars.  Praying in community with them really made me nostalgic for St. Stephen's Priory in Dover, MA.  I spent my Postulancy and Noviate there, and I haven't prayed with the Divine Office, with the friars, since then.  St. Stephen's Priory was a beautiful place; 78 acres bordering the Charles River. It was a spiritual haven.  The priory and the grounds spread contemplation.  When I sat in St. Cecilia's Garden, I could hear the river pass quietly by.  Walking down  the path doing the Stations, one would come to a canoe.  Paddling down the Charles defined tranquility.  Canoeing is so peaceful, like the Priory.

 That's what I remember about St. Stephen's--the sense of peace.  You recognized God there.

You probably will find this hard to believe.  The closest I've come to this experience, is my present Chapter, Our Lady of Mercy.  My "cloistered brothers" exude contemplative peace.  The fruits of their contemplation, and study, are evident in the witness they portray in their environment.  They are a source of peace and grace.  I pray God continues to bless them.

In the priory where silence reigned,
From the French doors shadows fell.
I felt God's presence in the dusk.
A habit of crosses, the friar wore so well.


The crosses flickered across the white,
As you bent your ear to me.
"Where two or three are gathered..."
We whispered praises in the night.


Father, listen! in the hour you bless.
On the long table, the shadows press.


And I under the Pompeii frieze,
Felt only comfort and peace so true,
With the cross pattern on moonlit white.
And I prayed for you.

This was a recollection of spiritual direction in St. Stephen's Priory.  It was published in The Pillars, Poetry from the 1st Annual OPrize for Poetry, ed. Robert Curtis, OPL, SchoolBoy Publications, 2005.  The title is Spiritual Direction and I wrote it about my director, Fr. Bede Shipps, OP.  

Confession and Spiritual Direction

It's beneficial to begin spiritual direction with confession, but during regular confession times, it takes up too much time.  So if you want to do both, make an appointment with the priest.

Aha Experience

Christmas has come.  I've had an epiphany!  I went to Spiritual  Direction tonight and it was a gift--a surprise gift.  Unbeknown to my Director, he let slip something I didn't know.  I'm sure he thought I knew because it was in casual conversation--not like he was letting me in on a secret.

We were talking about my "cloistered brothers," the way the Holy Spirit moves, mutual friends, relapses, etc.  Just shooting the breeze.  And in among the chit chat was a fact that I didn't know, but it definitely enlightened my understanding.   I didn't stop him and say, "What...what....what did you say?"  I just breathed it in and assimilated the implications.  Everything fell into place.

Of course, that's why.                 Now I get it.

                  What am I talking about?

Sorry, can't tell you.     Seal of Confession!            But God is good--all the time!

Fool Proof Plan

My Spiritual Director and I have thought of a way to beat the system.  We're talking about getting into heaven.

Yup.  It's fool proof because it's so quick.  I wonder why others haven't thought of it, before.  Maybe they have but can't tell us, anymore. What am I talking about?  Well, my S.D. will kill me right after confession.

See?  Fool proof!

You see, we always begin spiritual direction with confession.  That's just the way it is.  It is what it is!  So one day, unbeknown to me, he'll shoot me.  There--I'm golden.

Then his spiritual director will do him the favor.....ad infinitum.

What do you think?

Spiritual Direction

Fr. Ted and I were talking about retreats and spiritual direction, in the sacristry, tonight. We both like Cistercian retreats. We like the contempletive atmosphere and the nuns and monks. We laughed because we're both going on retreat at the same time, but Fr. Ted is going to the nuns at Mt. St. Mary's Abby and I'm going to the monks at St. Joseph's Abby.

I told Fr. Ted about my Spiritual Director, Fr. Aquinas, who is now at St. Joseph's Abby. I hooked up with Fr. Aquinas via the nuns. I was looking for one of the sisters to be my spiritual director, and Fr. Aquinas offered his services. AQ said that he would make a better SD than any of the nuns because men complement women and vice versa. IOW, women should be spiritual directors to men, and men should be spiritual directors to women. God created us that way--to complement each other.

Fr. Ted agreed.

I, however, am not so sure. I just think that women are naturally better spiritual directors. As Margaret Guenther says in Holy Listening, the Art of Spiritual Direction, "spiritual direction is a ministry of compassionate presence." Women tend to be more compassionate and nurturing.

I've only had one woman spiritual director, and she was the best one I've ever had. All the others I've had are priests. And, except for my first bizarre experience, spiritual direction gradually succumbed to be a nice comfortable chat with Father.