Father Murphy

Did you hear about Father Murphy?

He's the pastor from hell, that is perceived to be nasty, many perceive to be not very pastoral.You know; is mean to old ladies, pushes the altar servers around, makes fun of the pious, and steals from the poor box.

Well, he was run over by a truck.

When he appeared at the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him if he was the infamous Nazi Pastor.  Naturally, he denied it, and named a few good deeds he had done.  St. Peter has a soft spot for priests, and wanted to give Father Murphy a chance.  So he told Father that he'd check with the Boss.

St. Peter came back and said that God said, "No way.  Father Murphy has to take the elevator down."

"But...but...but", Father Murphy protested.  "Remind the Boss that the morning I died, I put a couple of bucks in the poor box."

St. Peter hopefully carried the message to God.

A few minutes later, St. Peter returned and said, "God said, take your couple of bucks, and go to hell."

h/t  Father Chris O'Connor