Spanking and Parenting

Did your parents ever spank you?  My parents used to brag that they didn’t believe in hitting children.  But there was one incident where my mother did whack me, and I have never forgotten it.  She was calling me to come home for supper.  I was outside playing with neighborhood friends.  I was involved and focused and didn’t hear her.  I guess she had been calling me, for quite a while. When I finally heard her, I ran home.  As I got close to her, she grabbed my arm and whacked me on my but and said “I have been calling and calling you.”

I’m pretty sure, I didn’t say anything in my defense.  I remember being shocked.  The spank didn’t hurt; it was the shock that my mother hit me.  And whenever my parents would brag that they never hit their kids, I didn’t say anything. I was still feeling the aftereffects of displeasing and disappointing my mother.  I didn’t want to remind her of that incident.

That’s how my parents disciplined us.  They would tell us how disappointed they were in our behavior.  Those words, the look on their faces would stab me in the heart. They expected better of us and never wanting to shame them kept me on the straight and narrow.

As a parent, myself, I never hit my children.  But each child was different. I had one who telling him I was disappointed in his behavior would have rolled right off him.  He also didn’t get “looks,” nor warnings.  I had to have a long talk with him and punish him by depriving him of a game or television show.  Another child, would cry if I corrected her. Teachers would tell me that she would become crestfallen if they just showed her how to hold her pencil differently.

How did people, years ago, discipline children, when they are all so different and respond to different disciplines?  How did your parents correct your behavior?  What kind of parent were you?