Needy People

 

A  complaint I often vocalize is "I'm a magnet for the needy."  

My mother would say that's because I'm a sucker.

I feel it's a character/personality defect where I want everyone to love me.  So I marry everyone.  You know what I mean?  I cozy up to people and act like we're the best of friends.  I don't fake this; it's how I am.  I treat everyone as though we're good friends.

This results in people thinking that I am their closest BFF.  They are always calling me and asking for favors.  It drives me crazy and makes me feel guilty that I can't do what they ask.

For example, Years ago, a hurricane hit us.  The governor declared an emergency and told everyone to stay home.  During the hurricane, the electricity went out.  Soon, there was a knock on the door and it was two of my most needy friends.  They're sisters.  

I said, "What are you doing?  There's a state emergency.  You shouldn't have left your home."  They responded, "We don't have any electricity."  "Neither do we," I said.

Meanwhile, my husband was behind me.  He said right in front of them.  "Tell them to go to the police and close the door."

I was embarrassed.  I couldn't close the door in their faces.  

But that's what I did.  I said, "I'm sorry." And I closed the door.  I also felt terrible!  All they wanted was companionship which is exactly what my husband didn't want to give them.  He calls them the "biggest pain in the ass in the world," because they're always calling me.

But you know something, if I didn't have my husband I'd have a house full of homeless people, ex-cons, and other needy people.  (I pray I die before him.)

I often wonder what God wants me to do for them.  I am not a counselor.  I have no money.  I don't have the where-with-all to help anyone.  What am I suppose to do with all these people who hang on me?

Then I read, "God between the lines."  It is the story of a missionary explaining his spiritual journey.  He sometimes feels that he has nothing to help his people.  So he dismissed the people with their problems. There was no way he could help them. But he came to a reflective solution, " From now on, I'm going to try my best just to listen, because even if I have no solutions, I have ears, a heart and hope."

Me too.  I have ears, a heart and hope.  I can just listen.