Envy

At first, I wasn't going to read, "Envy: The Sin We Don't Want to Admit," by  Allison Gringras.  But I did. I didn't think I had this sin.  I don't envy people's successes or what they have.  But what I do envy are others who had "better" parents.  One thing for sure is my parents loved me.  But they were alcoholics.  I know they did the best they could.  But still.

I just can't help wishing I had me as my own parent.  What sin is that?

Often when I read to my children or cooked with them or played games, I'd think, "Are you watching Mom?"  What sin is that?

When my husband coaches, or takes the kids surfing, I'd think.  "Are you watching Dad?"  What sin is that?

Is that envy?  It's just sad to me.  I know God put us where he wants.  He has a plan.  My life made me the person I am.  Thinking of my childhood makes me sad.