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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Mary Magdalene

My husband is the best husband and father that I know.  He's a wonderful human being, but he's not religious.  I don't know why.  He just isn't interested.  He spaces out whenever anyone starts talking about anything religious.  But he really is a dear--just clueless.

Case in point.  We were at a meeting.  As an ice breaker, everyone was asked to play 20 questions.  Each person had a wide strip of masking tape stuck to their back with the name of a person, place, or thing.  Everyone can read what it said, but of course the person wearing it, couldn't.  We had to guess what our backs read by going around and asking people questions.  We could only ask 20 questions.  We could only answer "yes," or "no."

As luck would have it, Hubby's back read, "Mary Magdalene."  I know he will never guess this.  Never.  I also know that he's going to bother me to help him.

So I hide from him.  I keep away from him.

But he's clever.  He finds me when he's asked 18 questions.  He starts asking me questions that require more than "yes" or "no."  He knows how to get to me.  He knows what buttons to push.

All he's managed to ascertain is that its the name of a woman.

He's such a pain in the neck that I give him a hint because I know it won't help him.  I tell him that she's in the Bible.

He asks, "Is it Jezebel?"        "No."

"Is it Salome?"            "No."

"Is it Delilah?"            "No."

Then he proceeds to list any historical prostitute, he can think of: "CleopatraMataHariMadamPompador...."

"No No No No No No No!"     I say in exasperation.  "New Testament New Testament NEW TESTAMENT!"

"Well."   He says all offended.
 It's about time they wrote a new one.

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