Sparrowfare has an article on words that hurt. The author, Peggy Hasler writes in Let there Be Light: Thoughts on The -Giving, Death-Dealing Power of the Tongue. of the time she and a partner were in charge of an ice-breaker exercise to open up a program. They opened with the statement: Share a moment from childhood when a teacher said something unkind to you.
Peggy remembered the time the teacher told her, "I thought you were a nice little girl but you have proven to be a disappointment."
Ouch. Especially to a child. Wicked Ouch!
Her partner, an elderly man tells of an incident in Kindergarten. Kindergarten!! He still remembered and even had tears in his eyes when he related the incident where the teacher told him that he was nothing but trouble.
May God forgive all who have inadvertently hurt our children with words. Mea Culpa.
Mea Culpa!
When I was teaching the fourth grade there was a cute little girl who hung on every word, and movement I made. Her name was Kathleen but everyone called her Kay Kay. She worshiped me. She was always underfoot. Her hand was always raised. She was a pain-in-the-ass because she was always hanging on me. One day when I was tired and harassed, I announced to the class, "Kay Kay, the class is tired of hearing the sound of your voice. Put your hand down and listen for a change."
Imagine the look on poor, Kay Kay's face, because I can't describe it.
It gets worse.
At the end of the school year, I got married. Much to my surprise, Kay Kay was in the church watching me get married. Afterward, her mother told me that Kay Kay insisted (See, she was a pain-in-the-ass.) and insisted that she be brought to her favorite teacher's wedding.
I have never felt so guilty. Did that mean that Kay Kay forgave me? Better, that Kay Kay didn't even remember the incident? I hope so because afterward, I made a concerted effort not to express my frustration in words to anyone, especially my students.
Although, fast forward thirty years later and I'm working as a clerk. Once on the phone, the person on the other end, actually said, "I can tell by your voice that you're getting frustrated." I burst out laughing and my mood did change immediately.
Even on FaceBook, I've been told that my words are too harsh.
As the article explains, harsh words do not explain the situation away; they only hurt the person we're addressing.
If I haven't found a way to curb my tongue by now, will I ever? Well, God hasn't given up on me, so I have no excuse not to keep trying.
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