Wednesday, August 6, 2014

No Pee Zone

I left the dog in the car while I went to the library.  Afterwards, to make up for my leaving him alone for ten minutes, I took him for a walk.  We casually sauntered along the sidewalk, until I saw this sign.  So we crossed the street.  There was a similar sign, forbidding dogs' peeing.

What's this world coming to, when an animal can perform a natural body function?

At first, I intended to write a scathing article about Dean College not allowing dogs to do what comes natural.  Who'd send their student to a college that wouldn't allow dogs to pee?  Hmpf!

But being smarter than the average bear, I did a little research before I wrote an article condemning Dean College's curbing canine behavioral practices.

After only five minutes of googling, I couldn't find any documentation supporting my indignation.  It seems, my ire was misplaced.  I had to admit that I was wrong.  Dog's pee is toxic to lawns--quite toxic in fact.

Poor Poochie.  He can't even pee wherever and whenever he wants.  He can't go inside, and now he can't go outside.  What's left?

There are dog parks and the woods.  Guess again.  More and more woods have signs saying "No Dogs Allowed."  Well, at least they're dog parks and my back yard.

Now I wondered what to do when Poochie and I went for our walks and he sniffed his way looking for a place to pee and poop.  I'd hate to choke him half to death, yanking the leash.  So I thought about the situation.  I meditated upon the problem.  I contemplated about the predicament.  I even brought it to prayer. And I discerned a solution.

We are going to walk too fast to sniff.  I'm even going to toss treats before us as we speed walk by the No Pee Zones.  Not only will this result in urine free walks, but also it'll be fun exercise (I hope.).  We both might shed a few pounds, too.

Now,  I'll have to ask the fire department how I go about putting a fire hydrant in my backyard.