Monday, August 25, 2014

Groceries Provided by Satan

Another Fr. Chris homily opener:  an elderly lady came out of her house onto her porch every day, twice a day, morning and evening, and praised the Lord.  "The Lord is good.  All the time.  Alleluia!"

This happened every day.  Even when an atheist moved in next door, the lady continued praising God.  "The Lord is good.  All the time.  Alleluia!"  The atheist complained saying he didn't want to hear it; he was an atheist.  The lady just continued.

One day the lady's social security check didn't come.  She ran out of food.  "Aha" thought the atheist, "Here's my chance to prove to her that there's no God."  So he ran out and bought her a generous supply of groceries.  The atheist put them on the elderly lady's porch and then he hid in the bushes.

The lady came out to praise God.  "The Lord is good.  All the time.  Look at all this food He has provided.  Thank you Lord.  Alleluia!"

The atheist jumped out of the bushes, "No I bought the food.  There is no God."

The lady didn't even blink.  She continued praising and thanking God.  "The Lord is good.  All the time.  He even makes Satan buy food for me.  Alleluia!"