Sunday, March 24, 2013

Looking Through the Mirror

We were at a meeting.  I was having a good time.  It was after the meeting, that my friend confronted me about my negative behavior.  She said I made sarcastic, snarky remarks that were really uncalled for.  More than one person asked her what was up with my backbiting stabs.

Really?  Here I thought I was the bon vivant!

Now is the time, during Lent, to examine our behavior.  Do we really know ourselves?

St. Catherine of Siena was good at this.  She had a gift of looking inside, not only herself, but others, as well.  In her Dialogue, Catherine tells us:

A soul rises up, restless with tremendous desire for God's honor and the salvation of souls.  She has for some time exercised herself in virtue and has become accustomed to dwelling in the cell of self-knowledge in order to know better God's goodness toward her, since upon knowledge follows love.  And loving, she seeks to pursue truth and clothe herself in it.
      But there is no way she can savor and enlightened by this truth as in continual humble prayer, grounded in the knowledge of herself and of God.

Catherine tells us to get in touch with ourselves and discover God's goodness.  But how?

There's always Spiritual Direction.  For most of us, that's not an option.  Of course, the best spiritual director is the Holy Spirit.  He will lead you in prayer, to helpful friends, books, and others.  If you're married, your spouse could be honest with you.  Your spouse will tell you your failings and what you're good at.  A friend, like my friend, who told me to stop the negative sarcasm.  It's not funny, nor clever.

Blogging helps.  Blogging is like a journal, and I know when I look back a year or two, I can visualize where I was in my faith journey.  And why!  I can see where I've grown, and slipped back.

Private journaling would do the same.  One can really bare their souls, in their own personal diary.

Some concrete way to keep tabs on our attitudes and actions, must be found.  Some assessment to realistically see how we're getting closer to God.  Pray for this.

Lord,
Purify my soul,
help me listen,
give me eyes to see,
and understanding
to discern what's
hindering my
way to holiness.
I only want to
get close to You.
Amen.