Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Christmas Letter

Do you write Christmas letters?  I wasn't brought up to.  My mother used to say, "If everything's so honkey dorey, then why don't they slip in a couple of dollars for us?"

My theory is, that people who write these letters are bragging.  The news they give you is always wonderful.  They never tell you who got busted for drugs, DUI, flunked classes, kicked out of school, lost his job, beat his wife, is having an affair, or kicked the family dog.  These letters are all about above average kids and beautiful adults.

Another thing about these letter is that most of them arrive AFTER Christmas.  I think the letters are trying to compensate for the fact that the senders don't have their act together.  They're not organized enough to get their Christmas cards out in time for Christmas.  They're trying to make up---"See why we're late getting our Christmas cards out.  We had to write letters."

"B" as in B., and "S" as in S.  I'm not buying it.

I do like the Christmas photo cards.  I like to see how the kids have grown.   The above picture was almost my Christmas card.  My niece fell asleep.  We were going to put a cigarette in her fingers, and a can of beer in her hand.  Oh, did I tell you that she's only sixteen?  That would have been a good "anti-photo Christmas card."  Too bad Christina woke up before our nefarious, dastardly plans were put into affect.

Besides her father wouldn't get the joke.

So here's my real card.  Merry Christmas.