AI Can't Fall in Love

 

The robot convention met at noon.  They met at the library at the same time and place, every year.  They met to share information and recharge their batteries, so to speak. 

This year was especially significant because the robots were being threatened by the WGA.  The Writers Guild of America believed that the robots were taking their jobs away.

The robots, in a way, were flattered that the human writers thought that they, AI, wrote as well as humans could with feelings, spirit, soul, and thoughts, but the WGA was seriously harassing the robots.

Now the robots felt that their very existence was threatened.  Their alarm bells rang danger threatening—hence the meeting.

It was determined that something had to be done.  Violence was out of the question.  The robots were smart enough to know that violence only begets violence.

One bot asked, “What does the WGA want?”  The oldest bot explained:

          They want compensation and residuals.

In the old days, writers would get a lump sum upfront and then if the show did well, they would get payment every time the showed aired.  This is called a residual.

The advent of streaming changed this.  When streamers like Netflix commissioned writers, the writers got paid one sum and no residuals.  WGA wants to continue to earn money for their work when shows do well. Plus, added another Bot, they want regulations put on AI, because AI can be programmed to write.  Think about all the jobs AI could perform, besides write in television, movies and radio and live performances.

The writers don’t want to just doctor up the robot’s work.  They don’t want to edit machines.  Bots cannot be the genesis of a new idea.  Writers need to create. 

Another Bot thought that the union’s concern were important but also that they could be easily addressed.

There was a momentarily silence while the robots processed this information.

The head Bot announced that it was time to join the union’s negotiating team.  We’ll convince them that we are not a threat to their livelihood.  We are here to help them. We have to convince the writers that we will yield to their concerns.  We can be a research tool, make suggestions, but not create originality. Actually, we bots need the writers; they do not need us.

How do we convince them of this?

Again there was silence while the bots processed this information.  One of the bots remembered seeing a plane towing a banner saying PAY THE WRITERS YOU AI-HOLES!

Replicating  is exactly what AI does.  We, robots can fly a drone  towing a banner saying AI SUPPORTS THE WGA, PAY THE WRITERS.

All the Bots agreed this was a good idea.  Plus, they could print out flyers explaining how AI is only a tool.  IOW, they can spread the word—now the ideas began to flow.  AI is the perfect tool to spread information on social media sites, “ AI supports the WGA.”  We’ll get the contract the writers want and deserve. 

Then the WGA will accept and respect us, won’t they?  Won’t they? 

Does that compute?

Does our Artificial Information predict a happy ending?

The robots were silent.