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This particular "cloistered brother," is ashamed of his past. He really feels God's love and it's what he lives for. I can relate. I told the brothers my story.
One time when one of my children was hospitalized. (It is particularly alarming to see your child's tiny body attached to a lot of tubes.) I was praying from the depths of my soul. I found myself begging God not to take my child's life. If He wanted a life, I offered mine. "Take me, spare my child."
Suddenly I was overcome with Love and the understanding that God loves me that much, too. He sacrificed His life for me, His child.