I know John Lennon wrote "All You Need is Love," and that some equate love with affirmation, but I have a different opinion. Love isn't necessarily affirmation. People who hate, and wish you evil, may still respect you, and give you affirmation. You don't have to love someone to affirm the fact that they're doing a good job.
This conclusion was the result of a friend's slap down, this morning. She noticed a discrepancy in a memo. The dates were off. She went to her supervisor about it and he more or less just shrugged it off with a "not my job." And he referred her to his boss. His boss, instead of thanking her for noticing the mistake, and allowing him to rectify the situation, slapped her down by saying that it was no big deal. So what if people show up for a dinner and it's a day off?
I felt sorry for my friend. Instead of affirmation, she was given disrespect. She was given the impression that she was stupid for noticing a mistake. It's her fault for paying attention to details.
What does it cost us to give everyone affirmation? Nothing! My friend should have been given a simple "thank you, for calling this to my attention."
Come to think of it, isn't affirmation something we all are looking for? I know psychologists would say that we're all looking for love, but I don't need or want everybody's love. But I do want everybody's affirmation that I do good work.
