The Pastor's Lament

If I express myself on a subject, I'm trying to run things.

If I'm silent, I'm dumb or have lost interest.

If I'm often at my office (preparing sermons or studying), why don't I get out and learn what's going on.

If I'm out when they call, why am I not tending to business, or studying for a sermon.

If I'm not at home at night, I'm out having a good time.

If I'm home, I'm neglecting important outside contacts and activities.

If I don't agree with people, I'm bullheaded.

If I do agree, I don't have any ideas of my own.

If I don't do what I'm asked, I'm a poor pastor.

If I do agree, well, that's what I'm paid for.

If I give someone a short answer, I'm "too big for my britches."

If I attempt to explain the pros and cons of an issue, I'm a know it all.

If I'm well dressed, I'm a big shot.

If I'm not, I'm a poor representative of my office.

If I'm on the job a short time, I'm inexperienced.

If I've been there a long time, It's time for a change.

h/t to my Lutheran friends