There was something that happened at the wedding rehearsal, that still bothers me. I'm sure no one noticed or if they did, would remember it. It amazes me how fast something hurtful, even if not intentional can deflate one's confidence.
Before I left for the wedding, I posted the reading Christina chose. At the wedding rehearsal, I started reading it. It's from Song of Songs, about a lover waiting for his beloved. Song of Songs is poetry. It begins with "Hark." The minute I said "Hark," someone giggled. As I continued about "peeking through the latices," there was more giggling. I was not reading it dramatically, either. After all, this was only a rehearsal. I read it matter of fact.
It unsettled me. Instantly, insecurities enveloped me. I remembered my Boston accent was strong. I remembered a speech teacher telling me that I had, "an annoying Merrimac Valley nasal twang." I remembered all the criticisms I received in Toast Masters. I remembered when I quit being a Lector in church, no one tried to talk me out of it.
Well, it's over with, what's done is done. However it came across, no one will remember. It was the wedding that was important.
Christina & Ian's Wedding
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