You know that often used verse in weddings, from 1Corinthians 13:4-7. I don't think it's meant for espoused relationships. I think it's referring to community life.
In Discussion Group, tonight, we were discussing how hard it is to live in community, especially a celibate one. It is especially so in a male celibate community. If you're competitive, and feel the need to present a certain persona, it is very hard to love your confreres. The verse tells us basically to be humble enough to forget ourselves--our needs, our ego, and consider the other person's needs. We need to see Christ in them, and one can't if you're maintaining the persona of an alpha male.
Love is patient, is kind; love does not envy, is not pretentious, is not puffed up, is not ambitious, is not self-seeking, is not provoked; thinks no evil, does not rejoice over wickedness, but rejoices with the truth; bears with all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Read this verse again, thinking of a couple making their marriage vows. Between two people in love there naturally is this mutual give and take. What bride is more ambitious than her husband? Self-seeking? Unkind? Thinks evil? Come'on! They're just getting married! This verse is wasted on them.
Now read this verse again, thinking of a Lay Dominican Chapter.
Those that live in community need to forget all pretense, ego, ambition, and look for the best in their brothers and sisters. That's where God abides.