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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Conversion


Fr. Jeffrey Steel's blob, de cura animarum, quotes G.K. Chesterton talking about his conversion: "The Church is a house with a hundred gates; and no two men enter at exactly the same angle." Fr. Steel's own conversion is interesting, in itself, especially as a married Roman Catholic priest. Well, poke around on his blog and you'll find how and why.

Anyway, conversion is my topic. In Chapter today, we had a professor from Boston College scheduled to come give a Talk. But that didn't happen. So just to take up time, Sister Ruth went around the circle and asked us how our Spiritual Journeys were going. You know, "How's your prayer life?"

Some of their stories are miracles. One of my cloistered brothers was a gang leader. He actually had the power to order people killed. Now if that's not a miracle conversion what is?

Many came through the Cursillo gate. The Holy Spirit can slip in any gate. Another of my brothers spoke about working in the infirmary and seeing the witness of others. How faith helped people! How could that be wrong?

Another said he never felt like he belonged anywhere until he heard and experienced God's love. Tricia spoke of love, too. Of course, she's a cradle Catholic but was drawn to God personally through the Holy Spirit, during the Charismatic movement.

I was hoping we would run out of time before my turn came, but no such luck. I didn't know what to say. I don't have a conversion story. In fact, I still struggle with faith. I have problems with trusting in prayer. They seem like empty platitudes. But I persevere because that would be my advice to others. Some days are better than others. Maybe I should pray for the gate to be closed. Too many weird thoughts enter.

"Lord, close the gate on my faith. I keep wandering in and out. What if one time the gate closes and I'm left outside?"

Time for a visit to my Spiritual Director, Father Aquinas.

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